August 20, 2008 - The Beginning

"We are looking for a loving family for a 12-year-old girl. She is a very bright, caring and pretty child. She has a good taste and enjoys decorating her room. She is very charming and polite. She goes to regular school and has excellent report! she cares about other and always willing to help. She loves to play badminton, ping-pong and rope skipping. She is adored by the orphanage director staffs at the orphanage in Sichuan. "
At 9am I opened an email from the FCCNY listserv and read the words above. I was immediately drawn as the words jumped off the display screen toward me. Often times I would read emails or posts on one of my adoption Yahoo groups from someone or some agency advocating for an older child or a special needs child and never gave it a thought; other than hoping someone would give this 13-year-old or that child with cleft palate a forever family. Constantin and I had no intention of adopting again, although had we started earlier, we would definitely have adopted at least one or two more children. For some reason, I connected to this email immediately and responded to the agency who had sent the post to FCCNY. A few emails back and forth and by 12:30pm I had her referral pictures and by 1:30pm her background medical report.






I was struck by the sweetness and gentleness in her face and what appeared to be a delicateness about her; not to mention her beauty. I read the medical and growth report which included the following information:

Chen Ziwei, a child in Children's Welfare Institute of Chongqing City, female, DOB: Nov. 1, 1995, was abandoned at the gate of Children's Welfare Institute of Chongqing City on Nov. 13, 2000, and was sent to Children's Welfare Institute of Chongqing City on the same day. She was named by our institute and her DOB was estimated.

Chen Ziwei is a lovely, active, clever and pretty girl, has black hairs, round face, a pair of fiery and large eyes and looks extremely beautiful at smile. She is sensitive and polite, adored by everyone. Presently, she is in grade 6 of Jianxin elementary school in Chongqing City. At school, she studies hard, gets along well with classmates, respects teachers, loves labor, is polite to others, active at answering questions and self-disciplined. As for study, she has good scores, would ask the teacher coming upon difficulties, until gets it. She treats the mistakes at examination seriously, would find the factors, and correct it under the direction of the teachers to avoid making mistake again. In class, she is concentrated, could finish the schoolwork seriously. In leisure time, she takes part in the activities organized by the school. She took part in the 400-race and girls' relay race at the sports events and gained honor for her class. As for daily life, she lives a simple life, can finish lots of things on her own initiative, and has good habits. Though she is obstinate sometimes, she is caring to others. She always wears clean clothes and has a good match. As for housework, she can help the living teacher actively on seeing she is busy and does something within her ability. She is helpful, often gives a hand to the children in difficulty in her class, such as reminding others to pay attention crossing a road, helping them to do the difficult housework. Sometimes she would help others to comb, take a bath and wash clothes. She has a good health habit, and decorates her bedroom warmly, tidies her clothes and bedclothes seriously. She has a broad hobby, likes writing, drawing, reading, singing and dancing. She loves playing badminton, ping-pong and rope skipping.
Chen Ziwei is willing to be adopted by a foreign family. When we asked her if she was willing to be adopted, she looked very happy and said "I want a home, and I'm willing to be adopted. I want my own father and mother."
With the thorough review, we think Chen Ziwei indeed is an abandoned child, and gained good care in the institute, no bad habits, with good character and moral. She is qualified to the adoptive rules.
And so, Katerina is getting an older sister. It all came about serendipitously but was definitely kismet. God, I love those two words/concepts. I know people were thinking we are out of our minds the first time we adopted; they are really going to think we’re nuts on this one. But we’ve given it a lot of thought and recognize the challenges, but believe this will be a wonderful opportunity to give a girl who will have no opportunity in China as well as giving Katerina a sibling. Our family has no other kids so Katerina has no siblings or first cousins on either side, although my brother John & wife Sue are waiting for a referral from China. In any event, since we are older parents, we are comforted by the fact that Katerina will have an older sister, and they will have each other when we “age out” or so to speak.

If you know me at all, you will not be surprised to know that I immediately researched, been in touch with and communicated with other families that have adopted older kids from China. I have also lined up resources from the Chinese American community to assist with translation, mentoring, tutoring, etc. We expect that she will come home before the end of the summer and I am frantically pulling together all the paperwork.

The way it unfolded was that a woman I know from FCC events, who is the China Director of an adoption agency, took a special interest in this girl. She was abandoned at five years old, and will age out of the adoption program at 14 years old She was on the Special Needs/Waiting Children list provided to the agency and Ming (the director) fell in love with her picture/bio and actually put Ziwei’s file on hold while she and her husband discussed adopting her. They decided they would not be able to do so for a couple of reasons: 1.) They have 2 boys and do not have a room for a girl in the house. They would have to move or add-on. 2.) Ming also runs a travel business: Chinese Cultural Exchange and Homeland Tours and goes to China very frequently. She felt that she would not be around enough to help Ziwei with the transition and assimilation process. Since she had such strong personal interest in Ziwei, she was determined to personally find her a good home. She sent an email out to our FCCNY listserv and although I’ve seen many emails over the years about children whose files were going to be “sent back” or special pleas for particular children on the Special Needs/Waiting Children lists, this one just jumped off the page at me and just felt immediately that she belonged in our family.

By the time Constantin came home from work that day, I had her picture, and her medical report. He and I had often talked about hosting exchange students from China, so when he came home I asked him how he would like a permanent exchange student. As I did, he immediately felt that this was meant to be. So we have begun the process to bring her home. The Special Needs/Waiting Children process works differently than the Non-special Needs (NSN) in that you identify the child from a list, send a letter of intent, have 3 months to pull your dossier together and wait a few months for approval for adoption and then travel approval. With NSN, you submit your dossier and wait to be matched with a child (which is now taking 28 months, with the prediction of getting to 3 to 4 years; my poor brother’s dossier was logged in last November).

Anyway, that’s our story and we are so happy and excited. I will once again lose my office (Joe’s old room) though Constantin has promised to make me an office in ½ of the garage.