Not Even Two Weeks

It's remarkable how quickly Sophia is integrating into the family. I'm sure Katerina and Sophia must have been sisters in a previous life, LOL; or maybe they were each other in a previous life. The connection is unbelievable. I don't know if it's a "new puppy" syndrome, but whatever it is, I can see a very strong, true bond developing. And to me, that's everything!

Watching a Disney movie in Chinese

Giving virtual makeovers


Playing around in the car. Sophia is in Katerina's car seat.

What have we been doing you might ask? Wow, it seems like she's been here for months!

We spent a quiet weekend at home. On Monday, Katerina went back to school and life resumed some sort of normality. Sophia and I did a lot of running around during the week; medical doctor, eye doctor, meeting at school, and shopping. It's amazing how much a person needs when they have nothing. Sophia came with the clothes she was wearing and a couple of items we had sent to her in the orphanage. We spent one afternoon at a friend's house when Katerina was off from school on Veteran's day. She seemed uncomfortable until we all started playing around with the Mandarin words we knew. (Friend's son has been taking Mandarin for 3 years and daughter is a close friend of Katerina's - also adopted from China). I think she may have been a little self-conscious because the son was a 15-year-old boy.

She has begun studying English using the Rosetta Stone software and is doing very well. She and Katerina have been watching Disney films in Chinese. I had bought a DVD set some time ago for Katerina thinking it would help with her Mandarin studies but it certainly has come in handy. I don't know if Sophia has seen all of the movies before but she certainly knows the princesses. Boy was she happy when I told her we were going to Disney World in March. She has no idea what she's in for.

This weekend was very busy and I think a bit difficult for Sophia. On Saturday we left the house at 8:30am and did not return until 7pm. First was Chinese School, then lunch with our friends who have 2 adopted daughters from China, followed by an FCC meeting and older kids' event, drop off Katerina at theater group while we did a little more shopping.

At Chinese school, while Katerina was taking her lessons, Sophia helped out at the coffee table in the cafeteria and got to know a lot of native Chinese people who all took an interest in helping her feel comfortable.

We had an FCC Board meeting at the Woodlands HS and concurrently there was an FCC older girls team building event. She met alot of kids and adults and I know she was self-concious about not speaking English, but she was amazingly social and composed.

Overwhelmed: So many people have known about her for all or part of the 18 months that we were working on bringing her here and those people are just so happy for all of us and greet her like a long-lost relative. She handles those encounters with grace and dignity, but I can see that she is uncomfortable, or at minimum self-conscious. And then there are the strangers; shopkeepers, doctors, etc. that ask a lot of questions because it is obvious that she doesn’t speak English and I either introduce her as my daughter or she calls me Ma so I need to explain that she just arrived and so on and so on, and again, I see she is uncomfortable. I want to let her know that I am sorry when those situations arise and I’d like to know from her what I can do to minimize her discomfort. I tried to tell her on the translator after the FCC meeting how strong and gracious she was and that I knew how difficult it was for her, but I don’t know how much came across.

Stuff: We are fortunate to have a friend/connection with a Mandarin teacher/ESL teacher at Westchester Community College. She came over last Tuesday and will be here today to help with complex topics. One topic for today is that I want to make sure she understands that we have been buying a lot of things for her because she needs everything; clothes, jacket, shoes, boots, coat, toiletries, things for her room, CDs, CD player, etc., etc. I don’t want her to get the idea that we are mass consumers and that we are all about buying things. We have very strong values and materialism is not one of them. We value character, kindness, love and those are the things we want to share and nurture in our family. But the reality is we need to buy lots of stuff for Sophia right now. I just don’t want her to get the wrong impression. I did try today to type something out on the translator, but I don’t know how well it came across.

Poor Katerina sees all this stuff being bought for Sophia so I try to get her small items that she needs so she doesn't get jealous. When we were checking out at Home Goods with some items for Sophia's room, I said "Isn't this fun helping Sophia buy stuff for her room", she very sweetly said, "Yes, but it would be even more fun if we were buying stuff for me." Then, when I mentioned to Sophia we needed to buy pajamas, Katerina told me that her pajamas were too cute and she doesn't like cute so she needs new pajamas. I reminded her that she picked out all her pajamas herself just a couple of months ago. But she's a good sport as long as I throw a couple of things her way, too.

She is my daughter: Amazing how a mindset can be so strong. For over a year, I have had her picture, heard about her character and qualities and thought of her as my daughter. And ya know what? She is my daughter. Even though we can't have heart-to-heart talks yet, we do communicate in many ways, including some English. But the motherly feelings are there; protective, nurturing, endearing, pride.....well you know how it goes. And for Sophia, I think she has been aching for a mother. She is constantly touching me, putting her head on my shoulder, and gives me unsolicited "I Love You"s.